Recent Blackberry Messenger conversation.
Friend (3:05pm): Shall we meet at 6?
Me (3:06pm): Sure, 6 sounds good.
Me (5:33pm): Oh My God! Totally running late!! Sorry!!
Me (5:34pm): I'm in line at a store right now and these stupid people are returning a freaking toaster. The nerve! Like, how long does it take to pick a new one! They all make toast! I'm giving them dirty looks right now. Jerks.
Me (5:34pm): Actually forget that. Had a moment of panick where I thought we
had said we'd meet at 5.
Me (5:35pm): I'm totally going to be on time. Early, even.
Me (5:35pm): Am losing the plot
Me (5:36pm): Obviously did not look at the conversation right before my eyes before I sent that
Me (5:36pm): *mortified*
Friend (5:39pm): ?
Friend (5:39pm): You're funny
Friend (5:39pm): What the hell is wrong with you? It clearly says 6 right there (ok, she's too nice to say that but she was obviously thinking it.)
Recent in-car conversation, on the way to Tim Horton's.
Friend : So, the amount of money you spend on coffee if you buy it every day really adds up.
Me : God, I know. I used to go to Starbucks every day and the coffee there was, like, $2.50 every time. That's $7.50 a week!
Friend : ??
Friend : Where do you get $7.50 from?
Me : Well, $2.50 times two is $5, plus $2.50 is $7.50! Duh, obviously.
Friend : and how many days a week did you work?
Me : Five! (thinking about how dumb that questions is .... )
Friend : So .....
(long amount of time elapses)
Friend : ..... that wouldn't be $7.50
Me: Right! Of course, it would be less than that.
Me : (finally getting it.) Oh, haha. ha. $12.50. Obviously. I knew that.
Friend: .......
Me : Hey, I never said I was good at math!
Friend: .......
Me : (oh my god. Die.)
Recent in-front-of-TV conversation while watching cheese horror sci-fi-ish movie set in some old era, where rediculous things happen like a horse transforms into a wolf right in front of our eyes. This one, actually.
Friend: This is a true story, you know?
Me: Oh my god, really? That is so scary! Those poor people!
Friend: *baffled* No, obviously I was joking. Horses don't actually turn into wolves, you know.
Me: Ha! I knew that. Obviously. Joke's on you, sucker
Me: (BAH! look cool! Don't let on that you feel like a total idiot right now! Talk about something else! Pretend to watch movie!)
Me: ...... (long awful silence)
Friend: (Why is she doing that thing with her eyebrows?!)
Me: ..... erm .... yeah.
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